Dear Mom, You Are Enough...
Looking for inspiration around the web I found an article that talks about the difficulties mothers face in this day and age. We have seemed to have lost the village. You know that support mechanism, that was there back in the day, when families lived if not together, at least close to each other. When house hold chores were shared, meals were cooked together and dinner were eaten around the table.
We are so detached from each other, living our own lives, trying to keep up with our modern way of life, that we feel sometimes alone, scared and tired. Yes, life was probably not easy in the past, but it was filled with hard work, physical activity, a sense of belonging and of permanence that we have lost.
I think that's why a lot of us are searching for something different, why we are leaving "normal" behind and looking into getting back to the land, working towards a more simple life, a life with meaning and self reliance.
Here are some of the Key points of this great article and if you want to read the full piece, find the link at the end of this page.
I’m writing you today because I can no longer contain the ache in my gut and fire in my heart over an injustice that you and I are bearing the brunt of.
Though this injustice is affecting everyone — men, women, and children alike — mothers not only feel its burden more than most, but we also feel disproportionately responsible for alleviating its pervasive and deeply damaging symptoms, which is adding hugely to the weight of the world we’re already wired to carry.
The injustice is this:
It takes a village, but there are no villages.
By village I don’t simply mean “a group of houses and associated buildings, larger than a hamlet and smaller than a town, situated in a rural area.” I’m referring to the way of life inherent to relatively small, relatively contained multigenerational communities. Communities within which individuals know one another well, share the joys, burdens, and sorrows of everyday life, nurture one another in times of need, mind the wellbeing of each other’s ever-roaming children and increasingly-dependent elderly, and feel fed by their clearlyessential contribution to the group that securely holds them.
I’m talking about the most natural environment for children to grow up within.
I’m talking about a way of life we are biologically wired for, but that is nearly impossible to find in developed nations.
Perhaps most tragically of all, the absence of the village is distorting many mothers’ sense of self. It’s causing us to feel that our inadequacies are to blame for our struggles, which further perpetuates the feeling that we must do even more to make up for them.
It’s a trap. A self-perpetuating cycle. A distorted reality that derives its strength from the oppressive mindsets still in place despite our freedoms.
Here’s a new mindset to try on for size:
You and I are not the problem at all. WE ARE DOING PLENTY. We may feel inadequate, but that’s because we’re on the front lines of the problem, which means we’re the ones being hardest hit. We absorb the impact of a broken, still-oppressive social structure so that our children won’t have to.
That makes us heroes, not failures.
No, we’re not oppressed in the same ways that we used to be (nor in the ways other women still are around the world), but make no mistake about it:
In the absence of the village, we’re disadvantaged like never before. We may have more freedoms than our foremothers, but our burden remains disproportionately, oppressively heavy.